


Resignation

by bluemoonmaverick



Series: Supposition [15]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 22:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1874946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonmaverick/pseuds/bluemoonmaverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is part of a series that, while sticking strictly to canon, explores the theory that Sam and Jack were engaged in a clandestine romance off-screen from Season 6 onward.</p>
<p>This tag takes place immediately after the events of Zero Hour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resignation

Jack walked into his office and sat down heavily in his chair. It had been a tiring day, but all in all things had gone well with the President's visit, lack of appropriate bunting aside.

He picked up the piece of paper lying on top of his desk - his letter to Hammond. He'd forgotten he'd left it there. He started to throw it away when he stopped short, the events of the past several days replaying in his mind's eye.

God, it had been a disastrous week, with one crisis following another - the alien plant, the Amran delegates, the booby trapped ZPM, but most of all the disappearance of his flagship team, reportedly at the hands of Ba'al. The thought that Ba'al had captured his team, and especially Sam, had literally made him sick to his stomach.

He didn't think he had ever spoken about his feelings for her while Ba'al was busy boring acid-laced holes in his body, but he couldn't be sure. There was much about that time that he couldn't remember. Of course, even if he hadn't said anything then, Ba'al was no fool; he had to know that she was special to him, if for no other reason than she was his second in command.

Remnants of Kanan's memories still drifted through Jack's subconscious. At some point, Shallan must have told Kanan what Ba'al did to her, because Jack had several graphic and disturbing images of the two of them together in his mind. It wasn't a far stretch to imagine Sam in Shallan's place. Though Jack had never told anyone, he suspected that the fact Shallan looked so much like Sam was one of the reasons Kanan, through Jack's influence, had felt compelled to go back for her. If Ba'al made the same connection...

What Ba'al did to him was bad enough, but the thought of what he might do to a woman - _Jack's_ woman - made his blood run cold. Ba'al would like nothing better than to take his hatred of Jack out on Sam, using her for whatever sick and twisted fantasies he might be able to conjure, taking her apart piece by piece, mentally and physically, until he finally killed her - only to resurrect her for the purpose of experiencing the same pain and torture all over again.

Surely Ba'al knew that such actions would destroy Jack far more effectively than his knives and little vials of acid ever could. Of course he knew. That was what he'd been counting on when he'd made his demand for Camulus. And that was the reason Jack had made the decision to leave the SGC - because he couldn't remain commander of the base and go after her. If all else failed, that was exactly what he had planned to do.

Fortunately, it hadn't come to that. Daniel had told him that she thought he didn't have faith in her abilities to lead the team, that he didn't trust her. Yet in the end, she had done exactly what she was trained to do, and her team had made it home safe and sound.

But then, the problem had never been that he didn't trust her. The problem was that he didn't trust himself.

He was having a hard enough time letting her go emotionally. But to let her physically go? That was proving nearly impossible. Even after all that had happened, she still had his heart. She always would. How could he let her walk through the 'gate with it, to another planet, with god knows what dangers, without him there to help guard it?

No, the truth was, he didn't trust himself not to barrel through the 'gate after her at the first sign of trouble. But he wasn't supposed to do that now, and it was almost enough to cause him to give it all up. If she hadn't come back to him when she had, he would have.

Jack laid the letter on his desk and smoothed out the wrinkles. He opened the bottom right hand drawer and placed it inside - just in case. Because in the end, no number of stars on his shoulders could ever make up for losing her, even if she wasn't really his anymore.


End file.
